The Other Side of the City--Chapter 119
Deviation Actions
Literature Text
She woke up with the faint light she detected behind her eyelids. The smell of grapes and musk, the smell of rat, the smell of Splinter filled her nostrils. She felt like she’d gotten a better night sleep than she had in ages.
Oh, she thought to herself, he is getting better. He slept the whole night through.Go home, the unbidden thought told her.
Then the days came rushing back to her, small snippets like a slide show flashing through her brain. Rummaging through the Haunted Warehouse to furnish the Not-Haunted Warehouse, playing checkers with the murder of crows, The Inleters, Chategris’ soft fur on her lips, a rhino mutant and a pig mutant, The Burrow in ruins…She opened her eyes, her shoulder aching deep in the muscle, as if she’d been bruised from the inside. She sat up and reached to touch her still healing scars, left from Splinter’s claws, and brought his blanket up to her face to breath it in again. Wishing filled the space in her solar plexus that was usually left empty by his leaving, and she looked around the small room feeling lost.
It was the same as it was when they’d abandoned it, the same as it was when she’d arrived the night before. Her back and shoulders started to chill with the underground air, not yet warmed by the sunlight come in through the skylight.Go home, the unbidden thought said. It was filled with comfort, like a hen gathering its wings about her ducklings.
It tickled the longing in her gut, bringing tears to her eyes. She turned and looked at the picture of the four turtles in the photo on the little quilted mat, and said out loud, “I’m not ready to go home yet.” Her voice sounded loud, it echoed throughout the room, cold like the light from the skylight. She dropped the blanket, the rest of her torso suddenly exposed to the morning cold, and reached over to take the photo. Without knowing why, and without particularly caring, she took it out of the frame, folded it in half, and placed it in her back pocket.With that, she walked out of the little room, the little bits of red and glinting metal in the faint morning sun catching her attention. She bent down, picked up a swath of the smooth cloth, and put in her back pocket also.
“I’m not ready to go home yet,” she said again, even though the unbidden thought had not told her anything. She didn’t want to go home and be with her children. She didn’t want to be reminded of her actions the day before last. She didn’t want to be reminded of how much the kids had missed their friends.They’re not friends, she told herself.
Of course they’re friends, she answered. They are the only friends they have ever known, in a world that doesn’t want them.She wandered out of The Burrow, not paying particularly close attention to where she was going, her thoughts fighting with themselves, as they so often did.
You want them, she told herself.But I am not enough, came her own answer. She felt her heart clench in her chest. I am not enough. Had she ever thought she would be enough for them? For so long, she had been, but was that not the way of all small children? They grew, and then their mother was no longer the unerring goddess of their childhoods. Their desires changed, they wanted friends, they wanted peers, they wanted mates.
That isn’t unreasonable, she said. Why would they not want a mate? Why would they not want peers? Why would they not want friends? It’s normal to want all of those things.Her mind was quiet for just a moment, before it said, You want all of those things, too.
It didn’t matter if she wanted those things too. She wasn’t going to get them. She hadn’t had a real friend, or a real peer in almost 20 years. A mate...she shook her head, mentally batting the thought away.No, her mind said, excitement running through her. That isn’t true--you do have a peer.
An image of Balboa flashed in her mind, her brother-in-captivity. She smiled, quickening her steps, and turning toward the inlet. Balboa was her peer. She would make him be her friend.It took her longer than she thought to get to the Inleters, but when she did finally did, their lookout had been extended a good deal farther away from their large room, and seemed to be more organized.
A mutant dropped down from the ceiling, almost giving her a heart attack in his stealth. She put her hand to her chest, and glared at the young man. He looked at her sheepishly and shrugged. “Sorry, Phoenix,” he muttered. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”“What are you doing way out here?” she asked, noticing his weapons. While they were makeshift, like hers they were obviously effective. “Shouldn't you be a little closer to the entrance?”
“There are other people closer to the entrance,” he said, walking with her as she continued on. “We have sections that we patrol.”A disconcerting feeling began to creep into her legs. “Why?” she asked slowly.
The young man sighed, “We had an altercation...”“Oh, no,” she muttered, and then broke out into a run.
The young man followed her a little way, and then stopped, and whistled into the air. Another whistle answered him, and Phoenix guessed it was signal to let those on patrol know she was not the enemy as she barrelled through the tunnel toward the junction.Visions of ninja robots slaughtering people, or of Kraang finding the junction and attempting to annihilate the Inleters ran through her head. When she burst through the entrance, she stopped in her tracks, expecting to find chaos surrounding her.
Everything was fine.She looked around in confusion, and Sparks came up to her, smiling. “Hello!” he said happily. “We weren’t expecting you here.”
“I…” she shook her head, trying to get her bearings. “I wasn’t expecting to be here, it was a spur of the moment thing.”Russe came up, smiling also, looking behind the little healer. “You’re by yourself?” she asked. She seemed a little disappointed.
“Yes,” she answered, waving her hand dismissively. “There was an altercation...?”“Yeah,” Sparks put his hand and scratched the back of his neck, his face looking guilty. “We had a fight.”
“With who?” Phoenix asked.“With us,” Sparks said. “Some people left.”
She felt the anxiety drain from her body like water being poured from a cup. “I thought--”“Oh, no,” Russe laughed, her accent making the laugh sound almost fake. “We didn’t fight any Kraang. We didn’t really fight each other,” she looked at Sparks and shook her head. “We had a very big and loud disagreement.”
Ardillo came up, holding a plastic glass of water for her. “Hello, Phoenix,” he said quietly.“Hello, Ardillo,” she said absently, never taking her eyes off of Russe. “I don’t understand.”
“There was a disagreement in how we should manage ourselves,” Sparks explained.“Tell her the truth, Sparks,” said Russe.
The raccoon looked from Russe to the Phoenix.“It was Balboa,” Russe said, since it appeared that Sparks was not going to. “He, and a few others, did not want to…”
“...work cooperatively,” Ardillo piped up.Phoenix looked down at the chipmunk, and immediately felt guilty. He was standing next to her with a glass of water, and she’d just brushed him off. And she was complaining to herself that she had no friends? No wonder she had no friends. She took the glass from him, “Thank you, Ardillo.” She took a sip, and then asked, “What do you mean?”
She knew that asking Ardillo and not Russe or Sparks was rude. In fact, she intended it to be. Her faux pas toward the little doctor-chipmunk had been her own fault, but blaming others who were not forthcoming with the proper information, whether it was hers to know or not, was much easier to deal with. Make it there fault, she snapped in her mind, knowing she’d regret it later.“Balboa wanted to go out with a small group, and Sparks said no,” Ardillo said simply, his Hispanic accent making his voice gentle. “So Balboa went out anyway.”
“That doesn’t sound like an altercation,” Phoenix looked up at the racoon mutant.“A little more happened than that,” Sparks admitted. He shook his head, “To be honest, I don’t see how the two of you are related.”
“What?” she asked, the question taking her off guard.“He says he is your brother,” Russe put in. “He seemed to think that gave him permission to not follow the rules.”
The Phoenix had to stop a barb coming out of her mouth, and was surprised to find it so close to the tip of her tongue. “Being the brother of the Phoenix does give him permission to not follow the rules,” she wanted to say. She was not under the same jurisdiction as those around her, her children were not under the same jurisdiction as those around her, and the man who set her free, her brother-in-captivity was not under the same jurisdiction either. The thought was a proud one, and almost overwhelming. It was also silly. There was nothing special about her, nothing special about her children, nothing special about her brother-in-captivity that made her or they better than any of these other people. They were not under any special circumstances that excused them from being treated the same way as everyone else. Knowing this, however, did not make the feeling that it should be so go away.“Where is Balboa now?” Phoenix looked about the room for the tall frilled lizard. If these people would not tell her any details, then she would find them out from the source. She didn’t see him.
“He left,” Sparks said, and he did not sound sorry.“He left?” she repeated stupidly, as if she’d misheard.
“He left, with four other people,” Russe said.“He left to go where?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” Russe answered.“Well, which way did he go?” her voice annoyed, didn’t these people know anything?
“That way,” Sparks said unenthusiastically, pointing to one of the entrances to the junction.Phoenix repressed the urge to reach over and slap him in the head.
“Excuse me, Phoenix,” said Ardillo in his polite, quiet way. “I don’t mean to change the subject, but I am glad you came. I have some questions to ask you…” his voice trailed off and he looked up at her with his large, brown eyes in a googly manner.She took a deep breath, and counted to ten, much like she did when the kids were small and she was about to do them bodily harm. She had wanted to be with someone, to not be alone, and she was not alone. She was in a room filled with people. It just didn’t have the person she was hoping to see.
Go home, said the unbidden thought.“Of course,” Phoenix said to Ardillo, ignoring the voice that was hers but not hers in her head. “I am at your disposal. Go ahead and get your nurses, and we’ll have a lesson.” She turned to Sparks, her attitude changing to one more harsh. “I’ll stay the rest of the day and the night here,” she told him. “Why don’t you get my place ready, and make sure to tell me any rules so that I can follow them.”
<--The Other Side of the City--Chapter 118
The Other Side of the City--Chapter 120
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